Just Close Your Eyes
by Scotia Daniel
Summary: She could see his sweet smile, watch as his eyes crinkled up in that special way they did when he laughed and almost smell the husky scent that was Donatello. April felt herself smile and, when she opened her eyes, she honestly did expect him to be there. But he wasn't.


The real pain lies in the long days and nights that drag by when you're alone. April O'Neil supposed that came with the package when your husband is anything but human, but that fact didn't make things any easier.

The young woman slid from the bed, hearing it lightly creak as she stood up and walked out of the room. She never realized how big the country home she and Donatello lived in was until she was left by herself. What normally would be filled with chatter, laughter and activity was now filled with an uncomfortable silence.

April found herself at the head of the stairs and she gazed down into the darkness. She took one step, feeling the wood beneath her feet shift and creak loud enough to wake the dead.

Soon, she was at the bottom and she gazed into the darkened living room. April glanced at the door that led to the kitchen and turned from it as she walked to the front door.

The house used to belong to April's aunt, but now it belonged to her and Donnie. The house had been left abandoned for years, but the couple knew it was the right fit for them. Big, beautiful, in the heart of the country outside of New York and best yet: it was isolated. There were no neighbors around for miles, which meant Donnie and their family could run amuck without any worry of being seen. But it was times like these that made April reconsider her love for the house.

April's hand was on the cold, iron doorknob of the front door and when she tugged at it, the door swung open with ease. The cool night air brushed against her face and blew at her hair. The young woman closed her eyes and breathed it in like peppermint.

Taking a step outside, April welcomed the night and her feet instantly met the wet grass, damp already with dew. It'd be sunrise in a few hours, but April couldn't will herself to turn around to go to bed. She just couldn't.

April walked towards nothing in particular, the house behind her. In the far distance, New York City sparkled with twinkling lights that never seem to die. It really is a city that never sleeps.

A pain ached in April's heart and she suddenly remembered all the times Donatello would stand with her there as they stared out at the city together. It made her wish he was there, but he wasn't.

'I'll be back, I promise,' she could almost hear his words that he had uttered a week before. He and the boys went off on a mission that would require a long time away from home. How long? April wasn't so sure, but Donnie had promised it would be less than three weeks.

It was already hard to live the past week on her own. April never realized how much she spent her time with him, from sleeping together to making breakfast, working, laughing, fixing up the house...there wasn't a minute that went by that she wasn't by his side and vice versa. He was the peanut butter to her jelly, she was the Bonnie to his Clyde.

April sighed and bowed her head. She was now twenty-three, and she and Donatello had already been married for the past four years. They had become the parents of a now five year old daughter who was surely asleep in her bed, hugging the stuffed turtle Donatello had given to April when they were teenagers; and she knew she should be asleep as well. She had responsibilities and things that needed to be taken care of that can't be done while completely exhausted, but standing in the cold air was exactly what she needed.

April inhaled the air again and let it out. What had Donatello told her all those years ago when he'd be gone only for the night at some points? 'If you ever need me, just close your eyes,' he'd say. He knew she felt that pain, and April never thought it would help.

But her eyes closed anyways against her will, and she tried to peer through the darkness of her eyelids to find the mutant she had fallen in love with all those years ago. She wanted to give up, but she began to rekindle the best memories she has of him and, lo and behold, Donatello's face filled the vision behind her closed eyes.

She could see his sweet smile, watch as his eyes crinkled up in that special way they did when he laughed and almost smell the husky scent that was Donatello. April felt herself smile and, when she opened her eyes, she honestly did expect him to be there. But he wasn't.

April sighed and felt her shoulders slouch with sadness, but the image was good enough. For now. April turned and walked back inside, shutting the door and crawled back into the warmth of her and Donatello's bed.

The sheets immediately clung to her figure as though they had missed her for the half an hour she was gone, and April sighed. It would only be another few weeks, but it would feel like years to April. Everything was so quiet, and she didn't like that one bit.

But the image her mind created of the mutant made her smile in the darkness. April had faith he would come home safely, he always did. And when he would this time, she would smother him with kisses and love as though he would be gone the day after that.

April sighed. For now, she would take comfort in the memories of him her mind had stored. Every waking moment she had with him, every moment that took her breath away. And knowing that, April closed her eyes with a smile on her lips knowing that, all she had to do in order to see him while he was gone was to just close her eyes and he would be there by her side. Always.


End file.
